The Matrimandir Chamber - Part 1

My daughter, Chali, will celebrate her 49th birthday on May 30, 2016. I have been blessed with a wonderful soul, a true child of the Mother. Prior to Mary Helen’s surgery the surgeon told us that she was in an advanced stage of ovarian cancer as he had seen many similar instances and said we should complete all paperwork, wills, etc. for she would only live another three weeks at best. During the surgery found that the cancer was so widespread that it was as if someone as thrown cement in her. He called me from the operating theatre and said, "I know this is not what you wanted to hear but I could not remove anything. "Chali went to the Matrimandir Chamber, in tears, for her beloved mother with whom she has an inseparable bond.

Below is her experience in the Chamber. Before you read it I would like to relate a very special experience Mary Helen shared with me. When Chali was a year old, Udar took her to Mother's room and put her on Mother's lap. Udar said, Mother said: "Très, très, sage, et très gentille." Very, very wise and very gentle.

December 19, 1998

I went to the Chamber at about 5:30 pm as Mom had asked me to be there during her surgery. It is not a place I visit often; only when the need or desire feels very strong. Amrit, who already knew the situation, was standing outside the Matrimandir on duty and nodded and smiled as I went in. (The main point here is that I very rarely go to the Chamber, maybe two or three times a year.) As I sat in the physical tranquillity of white and semi-darkness, my mind and heart were filled with doubt, fear, sadness and endless questions. I had to fight to remain open, calm and most of all to place absolute trust and faith in Mother and Sri Aurobindo. I was constantly battling the urge to cry out, "Why?"; in my mind I knew it was a futile demand. Then, in the midst of the turmoil and confusion, I saw my mother, radiantly calm and beautiful, with a smile of pure joy on her face. She was dressed in a long flowing gown of soft white which blended in with yet stood out from the garden in which she stood. I know she was in a garden but not because I could see a garden; I only had the impression that the background was a garden which was also collared in shades of soft white. I went to her with tears in my eyes and filling my heart and said, whether out loud or in my mind I'm not sure, "Mom, please don't leave me. I need you still - I'm not ready." She looked around her with wonder and, with a touch of sadness replied, "It's so beautiful! It's so beautiful here but I'm going back for a while." I can't tell you how relieved and happy I am that it turned out to be somewhat prophetic. I just hope " a while" is a very, very long time!